Today I found myself laughing about two scenes that happened yesterday. I am realizing that as bad as it seemed at the time, things could have been worse and there are lessons to be gained. I’ve decided that it is worth writing about so I might share if for the humor of it all. It’s always funnier when it didn’t happen to you.
Scene 1: Air Conditioner Installation
My sister is always hot and needs fans and air conditioning for happiness. She’d just had a sweltering 93-degree day at the Lakeside cottage when I arrived there on Wednesday evening for a quick overnight visit. She had purchased a window air conditioner for the living room, but because she isn’t handy at installing things was going to wait and suffer until her husband could install it on his next visit. “How hard could it be?” I said with confidence. Inspecting the unit, I soon realized that it did not come with a support bracket. Additionally, the side panels only covered a 35-inch width and this was a 40-inch window. Being the optimist that I am, I offered to do the installation because I knew she’d been really down and the cool air could lift her spirits.
After reading through all of the installation materials, which never mentioned anything about a windowsill bracket, I figured that maybe this installation could skip that step. Hoisting the heavy unit up on the sill, I suddenly realized this was not going to work. Unfortunately, just as this realization was made, my hand slipped and I lost hold of the AC unit. The whole thing tumbled out the window and crashed with a loud thud on the concrete below. The words that bellowed out of my mouth are not in compliance with my social media policy so you can simply guess what they were.
Accepting this loss, the next thought that came to my awareness was “Did anyone else witness my stupidity?” I listened for snickering from the house next door and scanned the perimeter. Phew! Even my sister missed the show, having gone into the other room for something.
Happy ending: The AC unit still worked when brought into the house and tested. Hurray! After an hour driving around town a suitable bracket for installation was found at Wal-Mart. The unit is now in it’s rightful place and working like a charm.
The lessons:
1. Support can make all the difference in the world.
2. Sometimes things end up okay even when you screw it up royally.
3. If nobody sees you do something stupid, it feels a whole lot better.
4. Installing a room air conditioner for the first time is a two-person job, even if you are in good shape.
5. Duct tape can correct the minor imperfections of any installation challenge
Scene 2: Explosive Projectiles in the Back Seat?
After a busy day of painting, yard work, shopping and a challenging window AC installation at Lakeside, it was time to hit the road for home. I packed the car and got Gracie my golden retriever situated in the back seat for our 80-minute drive. Everything was quite normal until about 35 minutes into the trip when I heard a funny noise in the back seat. Gracie was panting wildly and very restless. Usually when I command her to lay down, she does as told, but not today. Suddenly I smelled something really foul. Hoping that my dog had a little gas, I soon realized the worst – Gracie’s restless misfortune was explosive projectile diarrhea. Now what? You don’t just pull over on the highway. Opening windows wasn’t that practical either. I had nothing on me to clean up the mess which continued to flow in spurts for the remaining 45-minutes of our journey. The stench and the poor animal’s state of distress almost killed me, but what does one do?
Once at home priorities got sorted quickly. First, hose down the dog. Next, remove the foul remnants from the seats, seatbelts and carpet, followed by major cleaning, carpet shampooing and laundering of all the disgusting rags, towels and such. The odor and the mess were probably worse than all the diapers I ever changed as a mom. As I drove to a meeting the next morning, my car still smelled like cr@p, so detailing continued with new odor absorbing cleaning products. It’s getting there, but I won’t be taking passengers for a while! Gracie is doing fine now and I have no idea what this explosive episode was about.
The Lessons:
1. Don’t EVER put your bag with your laptop, calendar and important files in the back seat when you travel with a dog
2. Bring beach towels along when taking rides with your dog in the back seat and be grateful when the beach towel falls on top of you bag with the laptop in it.
3. Be grateful when something like this is over and you can finally take a shower.
4. Cleaning up a filthy dog and car will earn you about the same number of Weight Watcher’s activity points as a high impact Jazzercise class (which I missed because of this fiasco)
Have a nice day and may it be better than mine was yesterday.
