It’s funny how fear and the logical mind can totally override an otherwise very steady sense of intuition. I had an experience this past week I allowed to really bother me. I had discovered an “avocado-sized” lump in the area of my dog Gracie’s liver. At first I intuitively checked in and dismissed it because the energy of it was calm. As days went by, I kept checking it to make sure. Eventually I told my husband too, but kept quiet about it when my daughter was here for a visit over the weekend. Putting words to my worries is something I deliberately avoid.
Coincidentally, I found myself reading a book on grief over the weekend, which heightened my awareness that our precious time together might be shorter than I had come to believe.
Also in my awareness was my dear friend Jody Soland, who had recently lost her precious golden retriever Jeffrey to liver tumors. The thought of losing my Gracie to something similar was devastating. I was recognizing my attachment and how deep it truly was.
If you’ve read my book, Energy Makeover, you know the story of how Gracie unexpectedly entered my life just as I quit my last job over 10 years ago. She is a true partner in my new career as a healer and spiritual leader. She has helped many of my clients relax, smile and feel grounded. I’ve even been told that she serves a role as my “essence protector” too. Gracie quite possibly absorbs negative energy that crosses my path. She does it gladly with a big smile and wagging tail.
Why did I let my mind get the best of me yesterday? I’m human and have Internet access. There are incredible web sites where you can check off pet symptoms for guidance. I soon learned that golden retrievers are prone to spleen and liver cancers, which can suddenly rupture. All this started to seriously scare me, so of course I wanted to get her to the vet rather than deal with a crisis during the holiday weekend ahead. Fortunately the vet on call was able to see her last night.
Looking back, I recall the many emotions that came in during that time at the vet’s office. The initial gulp came when the doctor prepared us for the worst possibilities. I remember feeling very calm as he took her away for testing. Next came a steam of tears as images of the worst case filled my mind during the wait. I shifted to deep breathing and stared at the word “protection” on an exam room poster to clear those images away. The best part came from observing the doctor’s fluid body language as he returned to share the results. We knew it was good news before he said a single word. It was a benign fatty tumor under the skin that posed no immediate risk to her health. Hurray!
Thank you to Gracie’s friends who sent prayers last night. Perhaps you also played a role in this outcome. I also honor that my initial intuition was absolutely correct.
I am filled with joy knowing our Gracie is a healthy animal right now. That could change, but it’s a gift I cherish. Taking a glimpse into what might have been helps me appreciate what we have NOW. Gracie and I took a nice long walk at sunrise together in celebration and look forward to a long holiday weekend together.
If you have a pet or a person you love, I hope you’ll celebrate their presence in your life today too.
Life is short. Grief is Inevitable. We’ve got today!
