I consider myself a very creative person, but recently I caught myself with a really toxic negative belief about my own creative process. I found myself believing that creativity takes a huge amount of deliberate time and effort. I soon realized that true creativity is just the opposite – it is more of a process of letting go and letting something flow through you.
I had been putting quite a bit of time into working on new material for an important 30 minute presentation I was to deliver for six upcoming Cleveland Clinic staff appreciation luncheons. I was pushing myself pretty hard to get the content, timing and delivery down just right so I would be ready for that first luncheon on April 20. It was hard to imagine the room and the needs of that 500+ person audience. This was the audience I had hoped for, and also the one I feared.
I could feel my creative self getting suffocated by the pressure I was placing on myself to be perfect. Funny how my body also reacted by giving me a nasty headache and shoulder tension the night before that first big talk. Pain and tension is very unusual for me and I am conscious enough to get a grip when my body starts to speak to me.
It was time to surrender and trust. I had practiced, I had a message, and I had done enough. The rest was in the hands of a higher power. I asked for that power to be there for me during the presentation, and I went to bed.
As I awoke the morning of the first presentation, things were much better. I pampered myself with a hot neck wrap and I tapped EFT meridian points with positive affirmations. New ideas began to flow to me as I fine-turned my message. A few hours later, facing the audience, it seemed as though I had done this hundreds of times before. I was able to hold their attention and involve them in the message. I felt safe and exhilarated. All was well and the feedback was strong. I felt so grateful for the energy that magically showed up to get me through this challenging assignment.
I opened my journal this morning and made a simple request:
God, please take my pen today and let something great flow through me.
A beautiful download followed. I’ll plan to share that in another new blog soon.
