I had this crazy dream last night where I was back in high school, feeling those old uncomfortable feelings about not being popular enough or attractive enough to a certain young man I dated on and off throughout those years.  The particular guy in the dream was very handsome and smart, yet very detached and not trustworthy.  In hindsite there really was no real relationship, but still there was this powerful pull on my heart.  It was very odd to have a dream like that at a time when I feel so loved and settled in my life, marriage and work – yet there it was.  I wondered, what is this dream trying to teach me? 

I know many people reading this are fascinated by the movie The Secret and the notion that we create our own reality through our thoughts, actions and emotions.  We probably create in our dream state too.  Like many of my baby boomer clients, I grew up in a time when Walt Disney movies like Snow White, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty and the like presented us with the role model of a lovely woman who waits for that perfect prince to come along and sweep her off her feet.  I will admit, Prince Charming was my little fantasy too until I started falling for those guys who found many ways to disappoint me.  I guess I kissed a few toads even if they were pretty cute to look at!  The beauty of those early experiences were that they taught me about how to create the kind of relationship that mattered – one where I could love, respect and trust the right person.   As a result of this consciousness, I truly believe I was able to attract the perfect man, my husband of 23 years, George. 

I am concluding that the message of the my dream is the full realization of how truly grateful I am for George and my marriage.  And that gratitude helps me attract more goodness and love into my life.  I’m not leaking precious energy with relationship worries.  I can relax and be myself knowing that my access to love is so solid.  

But what if you aren’t in a solid loving relationship, or are still leaking energy from the disrespectful and damaging events of a past relationship?  How can you let go and attract  the real Prince Charming?  Here are a few suggestions:

1. Stop focussing on what isn’t working.  Instead make a list of the qualities you WANT and NEED in a relationship.  Be specific and also note WHY those qualities matter to you.

2.  Communicate your needs – especially if you are in a relationship that has the potential to be saved.  You can’t communicate until you know what you really want. 

3.  Remember that relationships are a 2 way street.  Keep your heart open to hearing what your partner needs too.  Talk things over.  Make time to be together so you can meet without distractions

4.  Love yourself.  Use EFT or another self-care technique to admit the parts that are hard to love and accept them anyway.  Ask forgiveness and offer it liberally too.

5.  Keep track of your dreams in a journal.  Pay attention to the characters, the messages and the location/setting of your dreams.  Ask yourself what you are learning from the dream messages.

6.  Be patient.  Snow White, Sleeping Beauty and Cinderalla waited quite awhile until the Prince finally found them. 

 So much for the fantasy!    I wish you clarity as you attract and enjoy love.