As a coach and healer, I am frequently allowed a very sacred glimpse into the lives and pain of others. When I was new to coaching , I was astounded by how much tragedy existed in the lives of otherwise successful looking people. Clients came to me wanting more success in their lives, yet felt that there was something holding them back. Unresolved “pain” kept beneath the surface, stuffed-away and denied WAS silently holding them back. Once behind a closed door, the unloading begins, knowing that they are safe and that I am a healer, not a judge. They have heard that Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) and Energy Coaching can help quickly. They are hopeful and open. They leave lighter, clearer and in better touch with who they are.
Identity is a fragile and important part of the healing and personal development process. Julia Cameron’s classic The Artists Way reminds us that self-definition is a major part of creative recovery. Stripping away the ego and distilling down the true essence of the “higher self” is the key to creating a satisfying, comfortable and joyful life.
Yet we continue to resist who we really are! When we deny our true selves, we actually invite more suffering. I know this to be true in my own life. A disappointment or a lost opportunity will put me into a funk until I face up to it, accept it, see the lesson and choose to feel better. I will often develop physical pain or discomfort to get my attention, steer me a new direction or to slow me down when I need to face the truth. Stuffing away emotions with food or alcohol is another way that resisting the truth can do real harm to physical health.
Resisting your best self can be very painful all by itself. Even if you don’t have a clue what you are resisting, I suggest surrendering to that notion and using Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT www.emofree.com), another favorite self-care treatment or positive affirmations to return to a better state of balance.
Allow me to recommend some effective questions to help you get in touch with your identity and higher purpose in a slightly different way:
1. Think about something painful that you experienced recently. If there was a life lesson connected to this pain, what might it be?
2. List your top 10 most difficult or painful experiences so far in this life. After each one of these indicate why it hurt and what emotion was connected. Do you notice any common patterns? Is the pain an integral part of your identity? Take time to treat these pains with EFT self-care or by working with a competent practitioner. You need not carry this burden through the remaining years of your life.
3. Important lessons must often be repeated many times before we “get it”. Are there some major themes to your lessons? List them.
4. If your life was trying to give you clues about your life purpose, what are some of those clues?
5. How could others be served by the lessons you have already learned and conquered? Give this some serious thought. Your response will bring you closer to understanding why you are alive today and what purpose you are here to fulfill.
6. What is still troubling you? Create an affirmation statement reflecting triumph over this problem. Repeat this statement daily while doing heart massage or EFT tapping to help integrate the new thought into your awareness.
Below are a few examples transforming troubles into triumphs:
Trouble: I will never be good enough. There is nothing special about me.
Triumph: I recognize the value of every person. I accept myself and know I am valuable to the world.
Trouble: I am lonely and may never find a partner to share life with me.
Triumph: I am drawn to places where my partner is waiting for me. As I seach for him/her, I am rewarded with other new and positive relationships. I am always in good company.
Trouble: I never have enough money. Financial worries weigh me down
Triumph: Money, gifts and freebies are flowing easily to me. I am responsible and joyful as I earn, spend, save and share. I am grateful for this blessing.
