This healing process is far from what I expected and maybe that is a good thing. I didn’t know my surgery would be as extensive as it was. The wounds have taken a long time to heal, according to the chatter in my mind. The scabs have finally fallen away during the past week and the scars are little lines with minimal redness. That’s one less thing to take up my mental energy.
What is most concerning to me this week is the absence of feeling in major sections of my foot.
I remember the intern touching the top of my foot at my last appointment 2 weeks ago and asking if I felt anything. Of course I did on top of my foot, but the pinkie toe side and the big toe have remained quite numb. Being in a boot most of the day except for showering and rare moments when I allow a little time for a spray or my custom essential oil mixture (with appreciation to Chrystyna Prochaska), I’m not even giving this foot many opportunities to be studied. I’m not supposed to be moving it either, but as days go by it feels safe to explore moving them a little bit.
Three days ago I started putting EFT treatment attention on my two numb toes. Knowing that the best results come from being specific, I started the process focusing only on my baby toe. I tapped as I spoke about all the things that bother me about this toe’s numbness and lack of mobility. I admitted that it scarred me to have no control over this part of me. I also tapped on the fear that this situation might not change or take a long time for the nerves to wake up. I tapped appreciating all of the sensations I could feel, including the nerve twinges I sometimes feel in that area. I accepted the limits, discomfort and the possibility that all of this was completely normal too. Most of all, I just tapped for disconnection of the flow, the energy and the nerve signals. All of this tapping took about 15 minutes and made my entire body feel good. That’s always a good sign.
Any decent EFT practitioner knows that measurement and testing is important. I have been tracking movement, sensation and range of motion for my toes daily in my journal using the 0-10 scale. Before tapping my little toe score was 0 for all items. After the tapping session, I was able to move my toe just enough to see light between it and the next digit. That was new. I would call that a score of “1“in terms of movement. Still scoring 0 when considering sensation of feeling.
IMG_1807For the next 2 days I continued the EFT focus on my baby toe and the outer side of the foot. Changes were subtle, but certainly in the right direction. Today as I challenge my toes to move, the little guy is bending “2” and also showing more space when I try to spread the toes outward (2 on range of motion). Sensation is returning as a deep ache with occasional tingling on that side which is also about a 2. At least there is still no measurable pain. Swelling of the bottom of the foot remains an issue and is also probably normal.
Today I started working EFT on my big toe, more likely impacted by that huge scar on the same side. It started at 0 on all measures and is still at 0. I think this is normal for my recovery timeline, but why not pay attention to help it along. It doesn’t feel as scary as it once did.
My spirits have been pretty good in spite of the limits, my diet has continued to be very supportive, weight is down and sleep has been more and more comfortable each night. I continue to accept everything this recovery throws at me. I will see the doctor on March 6 for another evaluation, x-rays and good advice. Can’t wait until I get the signal to start physical therapy because that should be a wonderful challenge to further apply my EFT healing skills.